Doctor Who at the Proms

I was pretty excited when the ABC announced they were playing Doctor Who at the Proms. Ok, so at the time I actually didn’t know what Doctor Who at the Proms was but that was part of the reason I was excited. Its one of those things that’s mentioned all the time in the Who-niverse but, living as I do in the great brown land, I’d never actually seen one.


For anyone who didn’t see it, Doctor Who at the Proms is basically a big concert featuring the music from Doctor Who played by the BBC Orchestra. In the Royal Albert Hall. With lots of fancy lights and people dressed up as monsters and giant video screens. If you’re not a Doctor Who fan you’d probably find it almost painfully dull. But if you’re not a Doctor Who fan you’re also an idiot. So you’re opinion is invalid.
Frankly it was awesome.


Usually this kind of thing would involve a lot of sweeping boom work. Booms, in case you’re not aware, are those big cameras on sticks that go WOOOSH across the audience and make all concert coverage vaguely sickening. I hate boom cameras. This hatred has nothing to do with the fact I once spent a whole day sitting beneath one as it was operated with a fair degree of reckless abandon (and zero thought for the safety of those sitting underneath) by a trainee. Point is- booms equal ick. But Doctor Who at the Proms managed what I had hitherto thought impossible- gentle, spectacular and totally not nauseating coverage of a live show. Ten million points to them.


All in all it was remarkably well produced. Accompanying each piece of music was a montage of scenes from Doctor Who shown on big, huge screen things. Whoever editing those together can also give themselves ten million points. They were brilliant. Cleverly combining the mood of the music with segments that effectively recapped the episode , character or event they were depicting.


The soundtrack for series 5 is, probably without argument, the best so far. There was a while where the soundtrack was pretty dodgy. All of which climaxed with the whole Sith lightening and jarring, distracting string section fiasco last Christmas. But ‘I am the Doctor’ is all kinds of awesome. It’s a song I’d actually play out of context. Excuse me while I hum it to myself while waving my arms around- dun dun dun dadada dundundun da da etc.


But my favourite bit was when Matt Smith came out as The Doctor. That sequence was cleverly written where it could have been cringe inducing. Funny where it could have been corny. Matt Smith jumped rather a lot in my regard when it came to choosing a volunteer from the audience.
If I wasn’t in love with him already.


Instead of picking one of the many children leaping up and down on their seats going “PICK MEEEEEE!” he went for a little quiet kid. One who was sitting on both his hands and not saying anything at all. No one ever picks those kids. Ten million points to Matt Smith as well. I’d also like to give him a hug.


The whole thing really made me want to be seven or eight years old. My friends and I have had this discussion a few times as people who came to Doctor Who long after Santa stopped delivering us presents. I can’t help but be jealous of those little faces who look up at Matt Smith, in costume, with so much wonder in their eyes. To them this man really is The Doctor. And that’s such a magical thing to have.


So yes, I really enjoyed it. (Even if the otherwise excellent camera work didn’t let me see what spectacular sock based offering Mr Smith had on.)
The final person who deserves credit is the person at the ABC who finally noticed that we actually like Doctor Who rather a lot. Fasting tracking Smithmas has made a lot of people very happy. Showing Doctor Who at the Proms helped me to make a day of it. We appreciate it. Ten million points to you.

That concludes our Smithmas coverage. 

The Oncoming Storm

They’ve done it again.


The ‘Coming in 2011’ trailer shows us nothing we didn’t already know while simultaneously raising an awful lot of questions. Thus.
1- At what point in River’s personal timeline are these episodes going to occur?
2- WHY IS SHE NAKED?!
3- What’s actually going to HAPPEN in America? And how will they get from Monument Valley to the White House?
4- Is there a reason they’re in a CAR? Where did they even get a car?
5- Why does The Doctor have a beard and can he manage to pull that look off? LOOK!
6- Will there be more fez action?
7- Those creepy doll things. What the hell are those creepy doll things? And how do they manage to be so creepy in a 3 second snapshot?
8- Why does Amy have stuff written on her face? SO CREEPY!
9- That was an ood? Really? An ood? Why are they bringing the ood back?
10- What’s this monster that Matt Smith describes as “scarier than the weeping angels?” Is it those bloody creepy doll things?
(Ok so they’re playing to my weaknesses this time. Those kind of creepy doll type things in dark creepy houses creep me out big time. Even in theory. In case you hadn’t guessed)
11- That thing, in the room at the end? What was that thing?
12-This. What the fuck is this? Is it the Tardis from The Lodger?
13- Those are Nazis aren't they? How is THAT going to work?
13- Is this the greatest writing team ever assembled?
14- Why can’t Easter come faster, damn it.


And then there’s the big ones-
Who’s the great man who’s going to die?
I’ve thought about this a lot. It has to be someone we already know and love and it’s not going to be a minor character. The obvious answer is The Doctor. But that’s just it, it’s the obvious answer. Plus I can’t work out how that could work. Also we can be fairly sure that this is the same Great Man who River killed. It can’t be Rory because Rory has already died twice and three times is probably pushing the issue. The only other theory I have is Captain Jack. Moffat has said that he’d love to bring him back and technically speaking he has every right to- Jack is a Moffat creation. But Jack’s immortal and he’s got his own series. So killing him would be tricky canon wise. Mind you- the new series of Torchwood is also set in America. Coincidence?


Who is River?
We’re going to find out. We know we are. On the one hand I can’t help doubting whether they’ll be able to pull it off. We’ve spent, what, three years speculating about who this women is. That’s a lot of potential for anti-climax. On the other hand I trust Moffat more than any other writer alive to pull off the impossible. So here are my theories.
(I’m going to preface this by saying I don’t honestly think these are the right answers. In fact I hope they aren’t.)
1- River is Mrs Doctor
I hate this theory. Pretty sure its not the right one. I mean come on. It goes some completely against all the cannon. Just no. Mind you, I can’t help wondering how much of my objection is logical and how much is sheer jealousy. “NO ONE GETS TO MARRY HIM!!!”
2- River is The Doctor.
It kind of makes sense doesn’t it? The great man she killed was actually herself and River is that long talked about thing- a female Doctor. I liked this theory for quite a while. I think Time of Angels played into it nicely. But its gone out of favour a bit.
3- River is a Time Lord
I think this is the most plausible of the three. Perhaps she’s a regenerated someone from The Doctor’s past. OMG! MAYBE SHE’S THE MASTER! Actually my best guess would be on Romana. I think if they were going to bring anyone back it’d be her.
3- River is Jack
This is the current favourite although no one else seems to get the same joy from it as me and beccamarsh. As mentioned Moffat wanted to bring Jack back. Now- think about everything River has ever said. Her mannerisms and general demeanour, “Hello Sweetie“ and all that. Now imagine Jack saying them. Imagine him doing what she does. IT FITS! Its fits way too well actually. And to anyone who wants to counter this with “But she’s a women”- Jack getting a sex change is actually more plausible than him turning into a giant head in a jar. So there.
(I do think that maybe Jack will come into the next series somehow. I might be totally wrong. But they’ve been a few mentions of him. A couple of throw away tweets from Moffat.)
4- River is the Tardis
Until a couple of days ago I was totally oblivious to this theory. I came across it here. This actually kind of makes sense. The way she refers to him in an affectionate but condescending way. How good she is at flying...herself. And if The Doctor was "married" to anyone it'd be the Tardis wouldn't it. So this is tricky cannon wise too but only as much as the others.


There’s one last BIG question-
What’s he going to do to us? 
We know the series is being split into two parts. We also know that the cliff hanger in the middle is going to be EPIC. Steven Moffat is responsible for some of the most painful cliff-hangers in television history. And there’s a chance that he’ll out do himself. This could be worse than Sherlock. Its probably going to kill us and will almost certainly warrant the removal of a toe. My brain hurts just thinking about how awful it could be.
Brace yourselves. 2011 is going to be amazing.


Discuss. What do you think the trailer means? Do you get creeped out by dolls? Who do you think River is? Think Jack might come back? Maybe you’ve got more questions? 

Smithmas Day

8:04am- wake up just as, on the other side of the world, the credits are rolling. Seems like an oddly fitting way to begin my countdown.
8:09am- While the jug is boiling I change my Smithmas fridge countdown from “1 sleep to Smithmas!” to “SMITHMAS!” and surround it with a variety of appropriate illustrations.
8:11am- make tea in my new Doctor Who mug. One of my friends bought it for me because she thought it had Matt Smith on it. Technically its Peter Davidson. We’ll forgive her.
9:30am- Send a message to my friend beccamarsh which reads “Mother fucking SMITHMAS bitches.” We’re going through a sweary phrase at the moment. The reason SMITHMAS is in capitals is because there are certain words my phone dictionary can only spell that way. SMITHMAS is one, others include FUCK and PENGUINS.
9:32am- Reply from beccamarsh simple reads “Bitches!”
10:00am- Put Chameleon Circuit on while I make a cake. Its an orange and poppy seed cake and I’m ashamed to say its out of a packet.

10:16am- While the cake is cooking I go and make a Smithmas Playlist on iTunes. Its about 77% soundtrack from previous series, 3% miscellaneous Doctor Who themed songs, 5% sound bites, 5% variations of the theme song and 10% Chameleon Circuit. It runs for a grand total of 7.7 hours.
11:00am- I’ve insisted that I make dinner tonight. If I’m cooking I can ensure that we’re eaten well before its due to start. I hate eating in front of Doctor Who.
11:02am- the other reason I’ve insisted on making dinner is so we can have Tardis pie.
11:15am- Ok so technically they’re more Tardis sausage rolls than pies. But Tardis pie is more fun to say. They’re going to be very, very tasty. I’m making them up now and putting them in the fridge. Smithmas time is all about forward planning.
11:30am- I decide to decorate my cake. Its going to be a fez cake. I’ve thought about it and it’ll be easy- minimal cutting or decoration skills required.
11:34am- Its not going to be easy.
11:37am- It has quickly become apparent that the fez idea is never going to work. I’m going to have to think of something else. Racking my brains for other Who related things which are vaguely cake shaped.
11:40am- My mother is sitting at the table laughing at me. iPod shuffle has decided that my cake crisis warrants a medley of stressful action themes.
11:43am- Hello and welcome to ‘Alex mutilates a perfectly good cake for no readily apparent reason.’
11:50am- After much angst I’ve decided to reconstruct the cake into its original loaf shape and turn it into a Dalek.
11:55am- Why am I incapable of making a cake which icing doesn’t want to slide off? Does all icing sugar just hate me?
12:00pm- Now mutilating a variety of chocolates with a knife.
12:15pm- TA DA! Oh god that’s awful.
12:17pm- Now turning my knife to the shortcrust pastry. I’m making biggish rectangular parcels filled with tasty, tasty sausage mine and then, with any luck, I’ll be able to use pastry to make them look like Tardi.
12:18pm- Tardi? Tardies? What is the plural of Tardis? Why have I never contemplated this conundrum before?
12:35pm- The Tardis pies are awesome, if I do say so myself. I even manage to write “Police Box” on each of them. My parents look on with a small amount of despair and argue whether “VROOM” is an appropriate onomatopoeia for the sound of the Tardis materializing. They think (wrongly) that it should be something more like “SWOOSH.”
1:00pm- Put Tardis pies in fridge with a certain amount of satisfaction.
2:03pm- My mother is just about ready to throttle me and my play list. To her credit she’s been tolerating my Smithmas celebrations remarkably well.
2:57pm- Decide its time to take the iPod out of the docks and go for a walk before someone gets hurt.
4:01pm- Arrive home to find my father watching the cricket. Get slightly twitchy about this with less than an hour until Doctor Who at the Proms. My family however, know better than to get between me and television. Especially when that television is Doctor Who.
4:36pm- The play list seems to have run out of good songs and is now playing the slightly dodgy ones.
4:40pm- Beginning to think I’m not going to get through this play list. Skipping songs feels like cheating.
4:42pm- I’ve just realised I’ve got a heap of songs on here twice. That would be my own idiocy at work. Tell you what though, the Fnarg soundtrack is,the best one so far.
5:00pm- settling down in front of the telly for Doctor Who at the Proms. It begins.
6:00pm- Oven is officially preheating for the pies. And I am going to go and put my pyjamas on and start getting properly excited.
6:27pm- Pies in oven. T minus one hour, bitches.
7:09pm- Starting to get a bit concerned about whether or not my pies will be ready pre-episode.
“But isn’t the plan to eat in front of Doctor Who?”
No mother. JUST NO. Your misunderstanding may have sabotaged all my plans!
7:20pm- Now eating pie. Must. Eat. Faster. Mind you- very, very tasty pie. And extremely Tardis-y.
7:27pm- The weather on the ABC has its own special breed of magic on Doctor Who nights. Its like the synoptic charts are screaming at me- “ITS ALMOST TIIIIME!!!”
7:30pm- ANNNND GO!
7:34pm- Consume as much of my remaining pie  as I can while the opening credits play. Eat the rest with my fingers so I don’t have to look down.
7:51pm- My cousin arrives at the door asking for something. Resist the urge to scream “GO AWAY! THE DOCTOR IS TRYING TO CATCH A SPACE SHARK WITH THE SONIC SCREWDRIVER! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO VISIT!”
8:30pm- As is traditional I exit as soon as the whole thing is over and go and jump up and down in another room. It’s a special kind of joy. That wonderful, magical Doctor Who feeling.

       Merry Smithmas. 

How did you spent Smithmas Day? Does anyone want the Tardis pie recipe?

Pictures- top to bottom
1- A River's Diary Diary for 2011 from beccamarsh and a sonic screwdriver keyring.
2-My Smithmas fridge illustration
3-My "Matt Smith" mug
4-Cake. And yes it is OBVIOUSLY a Dalek. Dur.
5- TARDIS PIE!!! 
6- The mosaic beccamarsh made me. Its awesome.

A Christmas Carol

This is why I want to write television.


This feeling, as though my whole body is filled with warm honey and magic. Maybe you don’t know what I mean, but for me television is the holy grail of escapism. It has the potential to be the most wonderful vessel for story telling. Nothing else makes me feel quite like I do after Doctor Who.
To put it another way- damn that was good.


In the lead up to the episode there were a few questions plaguing me (prompted mostly by the Children in Need trailer, the one they showed on the ABC).
Why are Rory and Amy dressed like that?
Isn’t Micheal Gambon way too old to have a son?
Who the hell is that young guy and why is he crying?
SPACE SHARK? Really?
If Amy’s on a spaceship how can she also be in the vault saying ‘time can be rewritten’?
How on Earth are they going to make the most clichéd Christmas story of all time original?


Yes, I was excited about the episode but I was also slightly sceptical. I’ve never been a huge fan of the Christmas specials. With the exception of “The Christmas Invasion” (which was pretty good once David Tennant got his arse out of bed) they’re usually a bit sub par. This year however we have truck loads of Moffat-y goodness. Those questions now give me a certain amount of joy because they were answered in such a spectacular fashion. You can tell that everyone involved, Moffat especially, was having a huge amount of fun.


My favourite bits-
1- The Sherlock scene at the beginning. Yes, it was kind of weird but it was also a nod to the fans. It referenced “Space Sherlock” (go and watch The Great Game with auto commentary, your life will talk you.) and felt like Moffat saying “Hello out there! You’ll never guess what ELSE I’m writing at the moment!”
2- The Doctor’s advice on women. From ‘eat crisps and talk about girls’ to ‘be all awkward and nervous, you’re going to be anyway. May as well make it part of the plan.’ But a special mention goes to “Its either this or going to your room and inventing a new kind of screwdriver. Don’t make my mistakes.”
3- There was a smattering of nice visual references in the various Christmas eves. I loved the transformation of Kazran’s costume- the bowtie especially. And the Tom Baker scarves!!!! Plus they spent one of their Christmases in Australia. That made me very happy.
4- Can I just say ‘all of it’? I just loved it. So, so very much.


And then the credits rolled and we got a tantalising taste of what’s to come. My dad looked at me and said-
“When’s that on then?”
“Easter.”
And it suddenly hit me how far away Easter is.
Bugger.


There’s more to come. You really think I could do all of Smithmas in one post? Over the next few days I’ll put up the rest, and I promise they’ll be worth dropping back for. They’ll be Tardis pie, speculation on what’s to come and a special Smithmas edition Day in the Life Post. In the meantime- what were your favourite bits?

This new Doctor then? What's he like?

We're taking another trip to the Department of Backstory today. In a time machine. Way back to when Matt Smith was first announced as the Eleventh Doctor. And to celebrate the occasion I'd like to present a conversation with myself. 

Former me- I don't like him.

Present me-That's a perfectly natural reaction to have. But you will like him. Really.

Former me- I don't believe you.

Present me-I'm you in the future. I think maybe you should take my word as gospel. 

Former me- But he's so YOUNG!
Present me- And that means he falls within the 'eligible to be married' bell-curve. And admit it, it was always kind of weird that David Tennant and your English teacher were the same age.
Former me- Well...yeah. But I'm not going to marry him am I? He isn't David Tennant!

Present me-He also isn't 40.

Former me- But his HAIR! What is with his hair?! Its all over his face and *makes violent hand gesture to represent all the hair.*
Present me- That hair kind of...*sigh.* I love the hair. And if you recall you also used to love that sort of hair before Tennant came along and messed with your brain. Ok, so in THIS video he is in serious need of a haircut but trust me, the BBC will get on that. 
Former me- He's not Scottish.

Present me-Fair point. But the accent isn't half bad. PLUS there will be added Scottish. 

Former me- Really?

Present me- Indeed. His companion is going to be Scottish and she actually uses the accent on screen which Tennant didn't for reasons unknown.  

Former me- But...but...David Tennant. WAH!
Present me- I know, really I know. And the pain is going to get worse before it gets better. It's going to be pretty bad for a while yet. And there's going to be an afternoon when you're in a funny little flat in Barcelona (the city) with wisdom teeth growing all over the place. And on the other side of the English Channel the 10th Doctor will be dying on BBC1. That's not going to be a good day. But Matt Smith will bring good days. Fish custard and Amy and Rory and bow-ties and fezs and all kinds of wonderful. 
Former me- There's a point- Matt Smith? What kind of name is that?

Present me- One which is easy to spell. Besides its all worth it for the glorious word play which is "Smithmas." 

Former me-Ok... 

Present me-And there's more Moffat than you can possibly imagine. Truck loads of the stuff.

Former me- Yeah, I am kind of looking forward to that. So this new Doctor then? What's he like? 

Present me-After watching the first episode (which is quite amazing, look forward to that) there was only one thing running through me mind.

Former me-What was that? 

Present me-"He's just so DOCTOR."

Smithmas is coming people. Get excited. 

An Ode to Kerry O'Brien

I remember when I first realised that there were people in the world who didn’t know who David Attenborough  was.


I was sitting in Year 8 science and referenced him in some comment about the documentary we were watching. The people (I say people, I really mean fourteen year old girls) raised their eyebrows in incomprehension. I was raised on a Sunday night diet of this man. He was the nature documentary equivalent of God. How could people not even know his name?!


Since then I’ve calmed down a bit and am better at not chastising people for their ignorance (I just judge them quietly to myself). But I remain in fear of the day when I turn on the telly to find an “in memoriam” segment for David Attenborough on the news. The world (not to mention beautifully shot images of rainforest fauna) will never be the same without him.


I had a similar epiphany last night while watching The 7:30 Report. I was quite sad when I heard that Kerry O’Brien was retiring. Sad enough to immediately locate the nearest person and tell them about it. But I don’t think the reality of the thing sunk in until yesterday. Never again will I be able to switch on the telly on a whim at 7:30 to witness an amazing interview. I have some seriously good television memories that feature that man. Like when he interviewed The Dali Lama. Or Obama. Or the amazing interview he did with Dylan Moran.


When I was at the Byron Bay Writers Festival this year Kerry O’Brien was a guest. He was supposed to be the one interviewing the headline acts but you couldn’t shake the impression that everyone was actually crammed into the tent to see him. He actually brushed past me at one point. I was standing against the canvas wall of a marquee in my volunteer shirt and he was late. The corridor I was helping to keep clear was the only way he could get to the stage. I can’t think of many people who’s proximity would be that exciting.  


He was a part of the landscape while I was growing up. The fact that he wouldn’t be on television forever is kind of hard to deal with. I thought he was immortal? What will the next election look like without Kerry? Who will verbally harass and embarrass the politicians of the future on out behalf? Basically Australia current affairs has ended an era.


And I suppose this makes me wonder. I seem to be growing up at a time when all the important figures are reaching the end of their rein. Maybe that’s a bit melodramatic but you know what I mean. I can’t help but wonder what the television landscape will look like in twenty, thirty or fifty years. Will we ever find someone to replace these giants?


Some how I doubt we’ll see another Kerry O’Brien.

A trip to The Department of Backstory

Last year I was sitting on a windswept headland at sunset. My family have a house at the beach and this headland is where I go to get internet reception. On this particular evening I was talking to my friend beccamarsh using an instant messaging service. Just as I was saying goodbye and vowing to wear a jumper next time I came up, I flicked over to the Doctor Who site to have a quick look.

I was greeted by this picture. Now, beccamarsh and I were quite substantial fans of Mr Tennant and his portrayal of the Tenth  Doctor. It is natural therefore that we didn’t like Matt Smith straight away. In fact, we were quite mean about the size of his nose for a number of months. This picture was our first sight of the costume. It was also the first time we heard the name “Amy Pond.”

You’ll see what our reaction was. It funny reading this now while I’m getting all excited about Smithmas and having a serious discussion about the relative merits of Tennant and Smith. Oh how times have changed.

There are only one or two things you should know before you begin-

-Tatham was our Modern History teacher.

-We had a friend called Aimee who, for complicated reasons, was known as “The Duck.”

alex says:

OH MY GOD. Go to doctor who site. NOW

beccamarsh says:

Going, going.

alex says:

I hate it.

beccamarsh says:

Holy crap.

alex says:

Exactly.

AMY POND?!

beccamarsh says:

At least the ranga chick isn’t in a flannie but holy crap!!

alex says:

IT’S TWEED!

beccamarsh says:

pond????

alex says:

No! Mr Steven Moffat Sir! What have you done?

beccamarsh says:

Maybe, maybe its a trick. Maybe its a fake photo release

alex says:

I don't think it is. He looks like TATHAM

beccamarsh says:

HOLY CRAP!! I SEE IT!!

alex says:

ARRRRRRR!

beccamarsh says:

But… but…

alex says:

This isn't happening

beccamarsh says:

But…I mean…

  alex says:

But...they're taking David Tennant away and giving us Tatham?

There is no god.

beccamarsh says:

Or there is and he’s a bastard.

alex says:

But SERIOUSLY

beccamarsh says:

I mean Amy? That’s not a name

alex says:

It’s a name for a duck

We're currently trying to devise some sort of test to make a serious Tennant/Smith comparison. The current thinking is we watch one episode of each and make judgments. Any thoughts? 

Cumberbatching

Benedict Cumberbatch.


Go on, just say that out loud a couple of times. It is, without question, one of the greatest combination of letters ever to grace a birth certificate. What? A great actor? Damn sexy? Who? Stop it. You’re getting ahead of yourself. At the moment I’m just fan-girling about his name.

The last two weeks “Sunday night drama on the ABC” has been something called Small Island. I wasn’t all that interested (only as interested as I am by default) until I noticed it has Mr Cumberbath in it, and he was playing a character called Bernard.

I have a few favourite names, Bernard being a long standing choice while Benedict is a recent addition (others include Davy and Marmaduke, pity my children). You might be wondering how anyone can make television choices for such fickle reasons. I can. Deal with it.

I did kind of enjoy Small Island. I didn’t turn it off or change the channel. As far as Sunday Night Drama goes I’ve seen worse (does anyone remember Line of Beauty?) But on a scale of one to Moffat, this script would be lucky to scrape a three. I’ve been doing writing workshops in primary schools lately and if a twelve year old can understand the basic premise of “show don’t tell” so can someone capable of getting a two part mini-series made by the BBC. Some of that voiceover made me want to stick pencils in my ears.

The acting however, was rather good. Which brings me around to the actual point (yes, that’s right there is one). Mr Cumberbatch is, I think you will all agree, totally amazing in Sherlock. There aren’t enough superfluous adjectives to describe his performance. I’ve been reading the original stories lately and he is that role. He fits every single description of what Holmes should be. I can picture other Johns but Benedict Cumberbatch is more or less Sherlock Holmes incarnate.

Which means that every other character he plays is going to seem slightly off. He’s played the role he was quite possibly born to play, so I can't help but feel its pretty much downhill from here. Which is a shame because he stands to play a lot of roles in the future. Is that type casting? Its not really is it? Its something else entirely. Maybe there isn’t even a word for it.

I nominate Cumberbatching. Just because that should be a word.

Hair

My hair and I don’t have a lot of positive role models. Especially not on television. As much as I love TV, I have a fairly strong hatred for its negative representation of hair styles. I mean seriously, I know full well that it took a stylist at least an hour to achieve that look so why, prey tell, do you feel the need to pretend you leapt out of bed and shoved a scrunchie in your maliciously tousled hair?

(Ok so I’ve watched my annual episode of Home and Away this week and I'm feeling bitter).

Having said that, I’m a sucker for good hair done right. So here are my favourites.

Lynda Day- On the auto commentary for series 2 of Press Gang, Steven Moffat comments that a lot of girls had their hair cut to look like Lynda. There was a time when the frizzy side part was fashionable. I’ve never gone into the hairdresser with a picture. I can’t help but think that’s a little bit weird and pathetic. Or I did. Until Lynda Day inspired me to get my hair cut off. It never really looked anything like her’s (I’ve got a fringe for a start) but I still side part it when I’m going through a particularly strong phrase of “wishing I was more like Lynda.”

Alex Drake- While totally failing to hit Lynda my hairdresser accidentally managed to make me look something like Alex in series 2. While I have yet to see any actual episodes from series 3, I’ve seen pictures. And I’m not particularly happy. Alex Drake is undoubtedly a positive role model for people with vaguely uncontrollable curls. Why go and ruin the magic?

Amy Pond- There’s something to be said about red headed heroines. Its quite obvious that TV-Land contains more natural gingers than real life can currently account for. But there’s something about the blasé way which Amy carries hers that’s quite special. I think the red actually fits and enhances her personality, rather than just being thrown in there for good measure. Ten points. Also how does she do that thing where she makes it look like she's wearing a headband when she isn't?

The 11th Doctor- Once upon a time this particular hairstyle made me weak at the knees. It stood above all others as my favourite type of hair. That was well before Mr Smith slipped into the role of The Doctor and a lot’s happened in my hair style preferences since then. But he does do it rather magnificently. And I have to say, he’s doing a pretty good job of bringing me back ‘round to the floppy haired side.

Horatio Hornblower- the reason Mr Hornblower gets an honourable mention is his ability to maintain that hair despite all obstacles. Seriously. There was an episode when he was locked in a French drain for six months and it came out totally spotless. Let me tell you, I’ve been aboard a tall ship and all that wind and salt air plays havoc with your locks. When it comes to hair spotting on television, this is a mop worth watching.

Bernard Black- My friends and I draw this comic thing which features Bernard as a regular character. He actually travells in the Tardis with Manny as the 11th Doctor (yes, in our universe there are two 11th Doctors). But the point is when we draw his hair its this violent scribble. The violence is what makes it.  

David Tennant- Nope, he doesn’t even get a character name. Because I’d basically have to list everyone he’s every played. How one man can achieve follicle orientated greatness in so many different ways is totally beyond me. I’m pretty sure it’s a miracle of some kind. From the floppy light brown of Campbell Bain to that miraculous spiky Doctor hair, Tennant is the raining king of hair. Here are some pictures for you to marvel over. You’re welcome.

So to my two readers Sian and Lauretta (and anyone else who chances upon this)- how am I doing? What do you think I should do with this blog? Or are you happy for me to just keep aimlessly rambling whenever something catches my fancy? Did you even read this far down the page?

Ashes to Ashes

I love Ashes to Ashes.


I’ll admit, when I first heard about it, I was sceptical. I liked Life on Mars. I liked it a lot in fact. So a remake should have been a good thing right?
“They’re making a sequel to Life on Mars.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Except without Sam.”
“Ok.”
“Instead there’s this chick who gets shot and goes back in time.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Except instead of the 70’s she ends up in the 80’s”
There is absolutely no way that could have gone wrong.

Remarkably though it didn’t. Apparently Mars was such a success that the BBC begged Ashley Pharoah and Matthew Graham to make a follow up. John Simm said he wouldn’t do it. Problem.

I think there are two things which mark a great script writer. The first is being able to surprise. One of the most satisfying things, as a viewer, is to go into an episode or a series with that intense nagging doubt, and to be proven wrong.

The second is unpredictability. When the bad guy is pointing a gun at our protagonist’s temple, there are five words I do not want to cross my mind.
“But they wouldn’t do that.”
I want, in every moment, to believe that the writer would pull that trigger.
So its just occured to me that my two things are really just one thing. We'll ignore that.

Ashes worked on both these levels. It surprised me at every turn for pulling off story lines and character arcs that should have been impossible. Like Gene and Alex. Ashes to Ashes- the best sexual tension on television, and some of the best hair.

Its been observed that the main problem with Sam Tyler was that he was a man. According to Ashley Pharoah, Mars was essentially a love story. A platonic love story between Sam and Gene. Which is all well and good, but it’s so much more electric when you throw a woman in instead. The usual problem with maintaining sexual tension is it involves asking the viewer to suspend disbelief.
“Well can we just pretend that them almost but not kissing for the seventh time this series is plausible? Thanks.”
The things which kept Alex and Gene apart are always, always flawlessly believable.

And Alex has so much more lust for life than Sam showed. She really has more reason to want to go home than he did. She has Molly, her daughter. But while you’re stuck in the 80’s and there’s pretty much nothing you can do about it, you may as well wear outrageous skirts and play the music loudly right? Hear hear Alex. Hear hear.

I suppose you’re wondering why I’m having this rant aren’t you? Almost exactly a year ago I flew to Rome, and in doing so missed the final two episodes of series two. They’re being repeated at the moment and so I have finally, finally seen the complete series. The ending of series two will blow your mind. It has unpredictable and surprising in spades.

I’m now kind of desperate to see series three. Like really desperate. Thing is I want to do it right. I love Ashes too much to watch in a grainy Youtube window. I want to sit down religiously every week. I want to have to wait between cliff hangers. I want to draw every last minute of enjoyment from it.

So I’m going to wait.

The final of series 2 will be repeated this Saturday at 11:05PM on ABC1. I’ll email the ABC about series 3 and report back. No promises though, I think they have me on a blacklist. In the meantime, if you’d like to look more like Alex Drake, here’s a handy article from WikiHow.