Smithmas Day

8:04am- wake up just as, on the other side of the world, the credits are rolling. Seems like an oddly fitting way to begin my countdown.
8:09am- While the jug is boiling I change my Smithmas fridge countdown from “1 sleep to Smithmas!” to “SMITHMAS!” and surround it with a variety of appropriate illustrations.
8:11am- make tea in my new Doctor Who mug. One of my friends bought it for me because she thought it had Matt Smith on it. Technically its Peter Davidson. We’ll forgive her.
9:30am- Send a message to my friend beccamarsh which reads “Mother fucking SMITHMAS bitches.” We’re going through a sweary phrase at the moment. The reason SMITHMAS is in capitals is because there are certain words my phone dictionary can only spell that way. SMITHMAS is one, others include FUCK and PENGUINS.
9:32am- Reply from beccamarsh simple reads “Bitches!”
10:00am- Put Chameleon Circuit on while I make a cake. Its an orange and poppy seed cake and I’m ashamed to say its out of a packet.

10:16am- While the cake is cooking I go and make a Smithmas Playlist on iTunes. Its about 77% soundtrack from previous series, 3% miscellaneous Doctor Who themed songs, 5% sound bites, 5% variations of the theme song and 10% Chameleon Circuit. It runs for a grand total of 7.7 hours.
11:00am- I’ve insisted that I make dinner tonight. If I’m cooking I can ensure that we’re eaten well before its due to start. I hate eating in front of Doctor Who.
11:02am- the other reason I’ve insisted on making dinner is so we can have Tardis pie.
11:15am- Ok so technically they’re more Tardis sausage rolls than pies. But Tardis pie is more fun to say. They’re going to be very, very tasty. I’m making them up now and putting them in the fridge. Smithmas time is all about forward planning.
11:30am- I decide to decorate my cake. Its going to be a fez cake. I’ve thought about it and it’ll be easy- minimal cutting or decoration skills required.
11:34am- Its not going to be easy.
11:37am- It has quickly become apparent that the fez idea is never going to work. I’m going to have to think of something else. Racking my brains for other Who related things which are vaguely cake shaped.
11:40am- My mother is sitting at the table laughing at me. iPod shuffle has decided that my cake crisis warrants a medley of stressful action themes.
11:43am- Hello and welcome to ‘Alex mutilates a perfectly good cake for no readily apparent reason.’
11:50am- After much angst I’ve decided to reconstruct the cake into its original loaf shape and turn it into a Dalek.
11:55am- Why am I incapable of making a cake which icing doesn’t want to slide off? Does all icing sugar just hate me?
12:00pm- Now mutilating a variety of chocolates with a knife.
12:15pm- TA DA! Oh god that’s awful.
12:17pm- Now turning my knife to the shortcrust pastry. I’m making biggish rectangular parcels filled with tasty, tasty sausage mine and then, with any luck, I’ll be able to use pastry to make them look like Tardi.
12:18pm- Tardi? Tardies? What is the plural of Tardis? Why have I never contemplated this conundrum before?
12:35pm- The Tardis pies are awesome, if I do say so myself. I even manage to write “Police Box” on each of them. My parents look on with a small amount of despair and argue whether “VROOM” is an appropriate onomatopoeia for the sound of the Tardis materializing. They think (wrongly) that it should be something more like “SWOOSH.”
1:00pm- Put Tardis pies in fridge with a certain amount of satisfaction.
2:03pm- My mother is just about ready to throttle me and my play list. To her credit she’s been tolerating my Smithmas celebrations remarkably well.
2:57pm- Decide its time to take the iPod out of the docks and go for a walk before someone gets hurt.
4:01pm- Arrive home to find my father watching the cricket. Get slightly twitchy about this with less than an hour until Doctor Who at the Proms. My family however, know better than to get between me and television. Especially when that television is Doctor Who.
4:36pm- The play list seems to have run out of good songs and is now playing the slightly dodgy ones.
4:40pm- Beginning to think I’m not going to get through this play list. Skipping songs feels like cheating.
4:42pm- I’ve just realised I’ve got a heap of songs on here twice. That would be my own idiocy at work. Tell you what though, the Fnarg soundtrack is,the best one so far.
5:00pm- settling down in front of the telly for Doctor Who at the Proms. It begins.
6:00pm- Oven is officially preheating for the pies. And I am going to go and put my pyjamas on and start getting properly excited.
6:27pm- Pies in oven. T minus one hour, bitches.
7:09pm- Starting to get a bit concerned about whether or not my pies will be ready pre-episode.
“But isn’t the plan to eat in front of Doctor Who?”
No mother. JUST NO. Your misunderstanding may have sabotaged all my plans!
7:20pm- Now eating pie. Must. Eat. Faster. Mind you- very, very tasty pie. And extremely Tardis-y.
7:27pm- The weather on the ABC has its own special breed of magic on Doctor Who nights. Its like the synoptic charts are screaming at me- “ITS ALMOST TIIIIME!!!”
7:30pm- ANNNND GO!
7:34pm- Consume as much of my remaining pie  as I can while the opening credits play. Eat the rest with my fingers so I don’t have to look down.
7:51pm- My cousin arrives at the door asking for something. Resist the urge to scream “GO AWAY! THE DOCTOR IS TRYING TO CATCH A SPACE SHARK WITH THE SONIC SCREWDRIVER! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO VISIT!”
8:30pm- As is traditional I exit as soon as the whole thing is over and go and jump up and down in another room. It’s a special kind of joy. That wonderful, magical Doctor Who feeling.

       Merry Smithmas. 

How did you spent Smithmas Day? Does anyone want the Tardis pie recipe?

Pictures- top to bottom
1- A River's Diary Diary for 2011 from beccamarsh and a sonic screwdriver keyring.
2-My Smithmas fridge illustration
3-My "Matt Smith" mug
4-Cake. And yes it is OBVIOUSLY a Dalek. Dur.
5- TARDIS PIE!!! 
6- The mosaic beccamarsh made me. Its awesome.