Ashes to Ashes- finale

I’ve been trying, since last night, to come up with a way to describe that which doesn’t consist exclusively of strangled noises and arm waving. Not easy. Especially considering my mind was totally obliterated by the whole thing and I probably won’t recover for days.

I’ve found one word that fits- BREATHTAKING.

Because if I was physically able, I would have held my breath for the full hour. And probably for several hours before and after.

In case you’re still wondering- I loved it. I loved it more than I can say. I honestly can’t articulate that right now. I might come back and do it when my brain has reformed, if you guys don’t mind an ‘Alex gets technical and fangirly about scripts’ post. Because that script. THAT SCRIPT. *insert arm waving and strangled noises here*

Before the episode started my German house mate and her friends were having dinner. Seeing as the dining table and the television are in one room, I got very stressed about this. But I couldn’t exactly explain that I really needed them to go and chat somewhere else because this was the most important television event since Smithmas and it was really, really very important that I gave it my full attention and could hear every single word of dialogue. I find it difficult to explain this stuff to people who speak fluent English. But they went out on the town pretty early on and I was left to watch the episode alone.

Which is lucky.
Because I cried.
And not just ‘this is quite sad’ tears. It was that really intense sort of crying. The kind that isn’t pretty or quiet or dignified. Proper, agonised sobs.
When did I cry?
From about the fifteen minute mark.

I cried when I saw the ID badge and when Gene and Alex where in the cellar (even though I was horribly confused). I cried when Ray saw his tape and when Chris saw his. And I bawled when I realised what Shaz was about to see on hers. Shaz’s broke my heart. And I cried when it finally sunk it what was going on. When Jim hurt Gene and when the ceiling turned into stars and when Alex was standing over Gene, protecting him. There was a lot of hysterical babbling at the TV. A lot of “No no no no no. Don’t go. Don’t do it. For god’s sake don’t.” And I cried at the end. From the moment The Railway Arms appeared.

Television has put me through a lot of things. I’ve experienced pretty much the full spectrum of emotion. But never have I felt like that. I was a mess when that episode ended.

This is just the equivalent of an agonised noises and arm waving post. I’ll be back to do it properly and articulately. But for now- Belgium man. Belgium.