Doctor Who at the Proms

I was pretty excited when the ABC announced they were playing Doctor Who at the Proms. Ok, so at the time I actually didn’t know what Doctor Who at the Proms was but that was part of the reason I was excited. Its one of those things that’s mentioned all the time in the Who-niverse but, living as I do in the great brown land, I’d never actually seen one.


For anyone who didn’t see it, Doctor Who at the Proms is basically a big concert featuring the music from Doctor Who played by the BBC Orchestra. In the Royal Albert Hall. With lots of fancy lights and people dressed up as monsters and giant video screens. If you’re not a Doctor Who fan you’d probably find it almost painfully dull. But if you’re not a Doctor Who fan you’re also an idiot. So you’re opinion is invalid.
Frankly it was awesome.


Usually this kind of thing would involve a lot of sweeping boom work. Booms, in case you’re not aware, are those big cameras on sticks that go WOOOSH across the audience and make all concert coverage vaguely sickening. I hate boom cameras. This hatred has nothing to do with the fact I once spent a whole day sitting beneath one as it was operated with a fair degree of reckless abandon (and zero thought for the safety of those sitting underneath) by a trainee. Point is- booms equal ick. But Doctor Who at the Proms managed what I had hitherto thought impossible- gentle, spectacular and totally not nauseating coverage of a live show. Ten million points to them.


All in all it was remarkably well produced. Accompanying each piece of music was a montage of scenes from Doctor Who shown on big, huge screen things. Whoever editing those together can also give themselves ten million points. They were brilliant. Cleverly combining the mood of the music with segments that effectively recapped the episode , character or event they were depicting.


The soundtrack for series 5 is, probably without argument, the best so far. There was a while where the soundtrack was pretty dodgy. All of which climaxed with the whole Sith lightening and jarring, distracting string section fiasco last Christmas. But ‘I am the Doctor’ is all kinds of awesome. It’s a song I’d actually play out of context. Excuse me while I hum it to myself while waving my arms around- dun dun dun dadada dundundun da da etc.


But my favourite bit was when Matt Smith came out as The Doctor. That sequence was cleverly written where it could have been cringe inducing. Funny where it could have been corny. Matt Smith jumped rather a lot in my regard when it came to choosing a volunteer from the audience.
If I wasn’t in love with him already.


Instead of picking one of the many children leaping up and down on their seats going “PICK MEEEEEE!” he went for a little quiet kid. One who was sitting on both his hands and not saying anything at all. No one ever picks those kids. Ten million points to Matt Smith as well. I’d also like to give him a hug.


The whole thing really made me want to be seven or eight years old. My friends and I have had this discussion a few times as people who came to Doctor Who long after Santa stopped delivering us presents. I can’t help but be jealous of those little faces who look up at Matt Smith, in costume, with so much wonder in their eyes. To them this man really is The Doctor. And that’s such a magical thing to have.


So yes, I really enjoyed it. (Even if the otherwise excellent camera work didn’t let me see what spectacular sock based offering Mr Smith had on.)
The final person who deserves credit is the person at the ABC who finally noticed that we actually like Doctor Who rather a lot. Fasting tracking Smithmas has made a lot of people very happy. Showing Doctor Who at the Proms helped me to make a day of it. We appreciate it. Ten million points to you.

That concludes our Smithmas coverage. 

The Oncoming Storm

They’ve done it again.


The ‘Coming in 2011’ trailer shows us nothing we didn’t already know while simultaneously raising an awful lot of questions. Thus.
1- At what point in River’s personal timeline are these episodes going to occur?
2- WHY IS SHE NAKED?!
3- What’s actually going to HAPPEN in America? And how will they get from Monument Valley to the White House?
4- Is there a reason they’re in a CAR? Where did they even get a car?
5- Why does The Doctor have a beard and can he manage to pull that look off? LOOK!
6- Will there be more fez action?
7- Those creepy doll things. What the hell are those creepy doll things? And how do they manage to be so creepy in a 3 second snapshot?
8- Why does Amy have stuff written on her face? SO CREEPY!
9- That was an ood? Really? An ood? Why are they bringing the ood back?
10- What’s this monster that Matt Smith describes as “scarier than the weeping angels?” Is it those bloody creepy doll things?
(Ok so they’re playing to my weaknesses this time. Those kind of creepy doll type things in dark creepy houses creep me out big time. Even in theory. In case you hadn’t guessed)
11- That thing, in the room at the end? What was that thing?
12-This. What the fuck is this? Is it the Tardis from The Lodger?
13- Those are Nazis aren't they? How is THAT going to work?
13- Is this the greatest writing team ever assembled?
14- Why can’t Easter come faster, damn it.


And then there’s the big ones-
Who’s the great man who’s going to die?
I’ve thought about this a lot. It has to be someone we already know and love and it’s not going to be a minor character. The obvious answer is The Doctor. But that’s just it, it’s the obvious answer. Plus I can’t work out how that could work. Also we can be fairly sure that this is the same Great Man who River killed. It can’t be Rory because Rory has already died twice and three times is probably pushing the issue. The only other theory I have is Captain Jack. Moffat has said that he’d love to bring him back and technically speaking he has every right to- Jack is a Moffat creation. But Jack’s immortal and he’s got his own series. So killing him would be tricky canon wise. Mind you- the new series of Torchwood is also set in America. Coincidence?


Who is River?
We’re going to find out. We know we are. On the one hand I can’t help doubting whether they’ll be able to pull it off. We’ve spent, what, three years speculating about who this women is. That’s a lot of potential for anti-climax. On the other hand I trust Moffat more than any other writer alive to pull off the impossible. So here are my theories.
(I’m going to preface this by saying I don’t honestly think these are the right answers. In fact I hope they aren’t.)
1- River is Mrs Doctor
I hate this theory. Pretty sure its not the right one. I mean come on. It goes some completely against all the cannon. Just no. Mind you, I can’t help wondering how much of my objection is logical and how much is sheer jealousy. “NO ONE GETS TO MARRY HIM!!!”
2- River is The Doctor.
It kind of makes sense doesn’t it? The great man she killed was actually herself and River is that long talked about thing- a female Doctor. I liked this theory for quite a while. I think Time of Angels played into it nicely. But its gone out of favour a bit.
3- River is a Time Lord
I think this is the most plausible of the three. Perhaps she’s a regenerated someone from The Doctor’s past. OMG! MAYBE SHE’S THE MASTER! Actually my best guess would be on Romana. I think if they were going to bring anyone back it’d be her.
3- River is Jack
This is the current favourite although no one else seems to get the same joy from it as me and beccamarsh. As mentioned Moffat wanted to bring Jack back. Now- think about everything River has ever said. Her mannerisms and general demeanour, “Hello Sweetie“ and all that. Now imagine Jack saying them. Imagine him doing what she does. IT FITS! Its fits way too well actually. And to anyone who wants to counter this with “But she’s a women”- Jack getting a sex change is actually more plausible than him turning into a giant head in a jar. So there.
(I do think that maybe Jack will come into the next series somehow. I might be totally wrong. But they’ve been a few mentions of him. A couple of throw away tweets from Moffat.)
4- River is the Tardis
Until a couple of days ago I was totally oblivious to this theory. I came across it here. This actually kind of makes sense. The way she refers to him in an affectionate but condescending way. How good she is at flying...herself. And if The Doctor was "married" to anyone it'd be the Tardis wouldn't it. So this is tricky cannon wise too but only as much as the others.


There’s one last BIG question-
What’s he going to do to us? 
We know the series is being split into two parts. We also know that the cliff hanger in the middle is going to be EPIC. Steven Moffat is responsible for some of the most painful cliff-hangers in television history. And there’s a chance that he’ll out do himself. This could be worse than Sherlock. Its probably going to kill us and will almost certainly warrant the removal of a toe. My brain hurts just thinking about how awful it could be.
Brace yourselves. 2011 is going to be amazing.


Discuss. What do you think the trailer means? Do you get creeped out by dolls? Who do you think River is? Think Jack might come back? Maybe you’ve got more questions? 

Smithmas Day

8:04am- wake up just as, on the other side of the world, the credits are rolling. Seems like an oddly fitting way to begin my countdown.
8:09am- While the jug is boiling I change my Smithmas fridge countdown from “1 sleep to Smithmas!” to “SMITHMAS!” and surround it with a variety of appropriate illustrations.
8:11am- make tea in my new Doctor Who mug. One of my friends bought it for me because she thought it had Matt Smith on it. Technically its Peter Davidson. We’ll forgive her.
9:30am- Send a message to my friend beccamarsh which reads “Mother fucking SMITHMAS bitches.” We’re going through a sweary phrase at the moment. The reason SMITHMAS is in capitals is because there are certain words my phone dictionary can only spell that way. SMITHMAS is one, others include FUCK and PENGUINS.
9:32am- Reply from beccamarsh simple reads “Bitches!”
10:00am- Put Chameleon Circuit on while I make a cake. Its an orange and poppy seed cake and I’m ashamed to say its out of a packet.

10:16am- While the cake is cooking I go and make a Smithmas Playlist on iTunes. Its about 77% soundtrack from previous series, 3% miscellaneous Doctor Who themed songs, 5% sound bites, 5% variations of the theme song and 10% Chameleon Circuit. It runs for a grand total of 7.7 hours.
11:00am- I’ve insisted that I make dinner tonight. If I’m cooking I can ensure that we’re eaten well before its due to start. I hate eating in front of Doctor Who.
11:02am- the other reason I’ve insisted on making dinner is so we can have Tardis pie.
11:15am- Ok so technically they’re more Tardis sausage rolls than pies. But Tardis pie is more fun to say. They’re going to be very, very tasty. I’m making them up now and putting them in the fridge. Smithmas time is all about forward planning.
11:30am- I decide to decorate my cake. Its going to be a fez cake. I’ve thought about it and it’ll be easy- minimal cutting or decoration skills required.
11:34am- Its not going to be easy.
11:37am- It has quickly become apparent that the fez idea is never going to work. I’m going to have to think of something else. Racking my brains for other Who related things which are vaguely cake shaped.
11:40am- My mother is sitting at the table laughing at me. iPod shuffle has decided that my cake crisis warrants a medley of stressful action themes.
11:43am- Hello and welcome to ‘Alex mutilates a perfectly good cake for no readily apparent reason.’
11:50am- After much angst I’ve decided to reconstruct the cake into its original loaf shape and turn it into a Dalek.
11:55am- Why am I incapable of making a cake which icing doesn’t want to slide off? Does all icing sugar just hate me?
12:00pm- Now mutilating a variety of chocolates with a knife.
12:15pm- TA DA! Oh god that’s awful.
12:17pm- Now turning my knife to the shortcrust pastry. I’m making biggish rectangular parcels filled with tasty, tasty sausage mine and then, with any luck, I’ll be able to use pastry to make them look like Tardi.
12:18pm- Tardi? Tardies? What is the plural of Tardis? Why have I never contemplated this conundrum before?
12:35pm- The Tardis pies are awesome, if I do say so myself. I even manage to write “Police Box” on each of them. My parents look on with a small amount of despair and argue whether “VROOM” is an appropriate onomatopoeia for the sound of the Tardis materializing. They think (wrongly) that it should be something more like “SWOOSH.”
1:00pm- Put Tardis pies in fridge with a certain amount of satisfaction.
2:03pm- My mother is just about ready to throttle me and my play list. To her credit she’s been tolerating my Smithmas celebrations remarkably well.
2:57pm- Decide its time to take the iPod out of the docks and go for a walk before someone gets hurt.
4:01pm- Arrive home to find my father watching the cricket. Get slightly twitchy about this with less than an hour until Doctor Who at the Proms. My family however, know better than to get between me and television. Especially when that television is Doctor Who.
4:36pm- The play list seems to have run out of good songs and is now playing the slightly dodgy ones.
4:40pm- Beginning to think I’m not going to get through this play list. Skipping songs feels like cheating.
4:42pm- I’ve just realised I’ve got a heap of songs on here twice. That would be my own idiocy at work. Tell you what though, the Fnarg soundtrack is,the best one so far.
5:00pm- settling down in front of the telly for Doctor Who at the Proms. It begins.
6:00pm- Oven is officially preheating for the pies. And I am going to go and put my pyjamas on and start getting properly excited.
6:27pm- Pies in oven. T minus one hour, bitches.
7:09pm- Starting to get a bit concerned about whether or not my pies will be ready pre-episode.
“But isn’t the plan to eat in front of Doctor Who?”
No mother. JUST NO. Your misunderstanding may have sabotaged all my plans!
7:20pm- Now eating pie. Must. Eat. Faster. Mind you- very, very tasty pie. And extremely Tardis-y.
7:27pm- The weather on the ABC has its own special breed of magic on Doctor Who nights. Its like the synoptic charts are screaming at me- “ITS ALMOST TIIIIME!!!”
7:30pm- ANNNND GO!
7:34pm- Consume as much of my remaining pie  as I can while the opening credits play. Eat the rest with my fingers so I don’t have to look down.
7:51pm- My cousin arrives at the door asking for something. Resist the urge to scream “GO AWAY! THE DOCTOR IS TRYING TO CATCH A SPACE SHARK WITH THE SONIC SCREWDRIVER! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO VISIT!”
8:30pm- As is traditional I exit as soon as the whole thing is over and go and jump up and down in another room. It’s a special kind of joy. That wonderful, magical Doctor Who feeling.

       Merry Smithmas. 

How did you spent Smithmas Day? Does anyone want the Tardis pie recipe?

Pictures- top to bottom
1- A River's Diary Diary for 2011 from beccamarsh and a sonic screwdriver keyring.
2-My Smithmas fridge illustration
3-My "Matt Smith" mug
4-Cake. And yes it is OBVIOUSLY a Dalek. Dur.
5- TARDIS PIE!!! 
6- The mosaic beccamarsh made me. Its awesome.

A Christmas Carol

This is why I want to write television.


This feeling, as though my whole body is filled with warm honey and magic. Maybe you don’t know what I mean, but for me television is the holy grail of escapism. It has the potential to be the most wonderful vessel for story telling. Nothing else makes me feel quite like I do after Doctor Who.
To put it another way- damn that was good.


In the lead up to the episode there were a few questions plaguing me (prompted mostly by the Children in Need trailer, the one they showed on the ABC).
Why are Rory and Amy dressed like that?
Isn’t Micheal Gambon way too old to have a son?
Who the hell is that young guy and why is he crying?
SPACE SHARK? Really?
If Amy’s on a spaceship how can she also be in the vault saying ‘time can be rewritten’?
How on Earth are they going to make the most clichéd Christmas story of all time original?


Yes, I was excited about the episode but I was also slightly sceptical. I’ve never been a huge fan of the Christmas specials. With the exception of “The Christmas Invasion” (which was pretty good once David Tennant got his arse out of bed) they’re usually a bit sub par. This year however we have truck loads of Moffat-y goodness. Those questions now give me a certain amount of joy because they were answered in such a spectacular fashion. You can tell that everyone involved, Moffat especially, was having a huge amount of fun.


My favourite bits-
1- The Sherlock scene at the beginning. Yes, it was kind of weird but it was also a nod to the fans. It referenced “Space Sherlock” (go and watch The Great Game with auto commentary, your life will talk you.) and felt like Moffat saying “Hello out there! You’ll never guess what ELSE I’m writing at the moment!”
2- The Doctor’s advice on women. From ‘eat crisps and talk about girls’ to ‘be all awkward and nervous, you’re going to be anyway. May as well make it part of the plan.’ But a special mention goes to “Its either this or going to your room and inventing a new kind of screwdriver. Don’t make my mistakes.”
3- There was a smattering of nice visual references in the various Christmas eves. I loved the transformation of Kazran’s costume- the bowtie especially. And the Tom Baker scarves!!!! Plus they spent one of their Christmases in Australia. That made me very happy.
4- Can I just say ‘all of it’? I just loved it. So, so very much.


And then the credits rolled and we got a tantalising taste of what’s to come. My dad looked at me and said-
“When’s that on then?”
“Easter.”
And it suddenly hit me how far away Easter is.
Bugger.


There’s more to come. You really think I could do all of Smithmas in one post? Over the next few days I’ll put up the rest, and I promise they’ll be worth dropping back for. They’ll be Tardis pie, speculation on what’s to come and a special Smithmas edition Day in the Life Post. In the meantime- what were your favourite bits?